September, For Me

by Pauline on September 30th 2017

Photo by Matt 💖

Main highlights

Tech

  • 👩🏻‍💻 I completed two tech placements this month – one with TechDept and one with Appt.
  • 🗣 I took part in my first ever podcast during my placement at Appt.
  • ⚡️ I attended my first hackathon-focused conference, HackCon EU in Birmingham for a weekend!
  • 💻 With a push from Hiro, I started #100DaysofCode. I have been slacking recently because of University work and other priorities but I hope to continue every few days at least!

Fitness

  • 💪🏼 I completed Grace Fit Guide Weeks 1 – 8 and started Guide 2 Weeks 9 – 16!
  • 🏋🏻‍♀️ I finally met up with Cherry and although we didn’t work out together, we convinced a personal trainer at the gym to take cute photos of us. 😂 I first saw Cherry at the gym when I started going regularly, I then found her on Instagram and since then we’ve been quite close since! I can confirm she’s strong, #bodygoals and the most motivating gal ever.

A post shared by Pauline P. Narvas (@paw.lean) on

Blog

Meetups

  • 💖 Chynna came up to visit Sheffield with her sister for an Open Day. Hamdah and I were kickass tour guides (I think)
  • 👭 Enyiiee and I met up! That’s another blogger meet-up this year! We went to Edale and had awesome food. She motivated me to create a vlog during Freshers Week which you can watch here.
  • 👩🏻‍💼Caught up with some of my ex-colleagues from my placement!

University

  • 💼  I started my part-time job as an Enterprise Intern for the next academic year!
  • 💙 I went to the Activites Fair and had a great time talking about MedTech (the society I’m part of), hackathons, coding (with Code First: Girls) as well as welcoming with freshers to Sheffield!
  • 🎓 I’m a student again with nine months left until I finish and graduate! Biomedical Sciences – come at me!!
    • I got my dissertation title and it’s not that bad: “What are the achievements and remaining challenges associated with early detection of cancer?”
    • I’m enjoying my module on Membrane Receptors a lot 🤓

Other:


3 things I’m happy about

1) Positive reminders

The past month has been a challenging one.

My anxiety flared up, and I suffered from some horrible panic attacks. Reasons for feeling like this never seem to be one thing, but I’ve realised that it has all come down to my constant worry of the next academic year. I’ve returned to the University as a student; I miss working full time and feeling like I’m making an impact and providing real value to someone and myself (in contrast to being in a lecture and studying.) I think this in addition to the pressure I’ve given myself in performing well (actually, better than “well“) in other aspects of my life including my part-time job, student groups I’m part of, personal projects and goals. Will I have time to workout? Will I have a chance to blog every week? How do I make time for a social life too? Will I have time??

After meeting up with a former colleague, she advised me to write down my worries as they crop up and then after calming down, look back at them. I tried this a few times and realised that some of my worries were silly. I became mindful of the patterns of negative thoughts, accepted that it was happening and slowly replaced them with how Pauline would usually act. For instance:

Worried about time and workload from different things? OK, breathe. Organise yourself. What’s the most important? You are in complete control of YOUR own time.

I made a schedule. I re-organised my messy todo list. I also told myself that it’s okay if I miss a week of blogging, it’s okay if I miss a workout, it’s okay if I need to walk away from all my work and noise to focus on myself – whether that’s blogging, working out or going out to the Peak District. Stopping the hustle for a bit is OKAY. It’s OKAY if I take a break towards a goal.

Once I started practising this, I felt so much better. Oh, and of course, meditation has been amazing during these times.

Not to mention the supportive circle I have around me. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the patience shown by my family, friends and boyfriend when I’m not at my best health. Matt reminded me that I’m loved no matter what state my mental health is at because it isn’t what defines me.

Shout outs to Hamdah, Mutay, Chynna, Micah, Reham, David for the endless love and support this month too. I value our friendships so incredibly much. 💙

2) Kicking imposter syndrome

Completing two tech placements this month has given me a rich amount of experience working in development. I’m super thankful for the time and effort both organisations dedicated to giving me the chance to learn and use my skills in the real world.

Another big shoutout to the wonderful Joe who gave me the opportunity to go to HackCon EU this year and Matt for pushing me to go despite being worried that “I wouldn’t fit in”. I met so many great people from around the world, learnt so much about the hackathon scene which I am excited to apply to organising HackMed in Spring next year.

These opportunities have helped kick my imposter syndrome out of my system (for now)

3) Inspiring others

In my last round-up post, I said that I get super happy knowing that I’ve helped push someone to try something new or motivated in any way. I mean that’s what I’m all about – that’s one of core reasons I share on social media and blog.
So to those who have sent me a message, stopped me in the middle of the street to say to me in person that I’ve helped inspire to start a blog, to workout, to learn how to code, to go out of their comfort zone… Thank you. I’m driven to keep going because of you!
Some shout outs:
  • School friends who have told me that they’ve started to learn how to code – you go gals!
  • My friend’s colleague who said that I “write and share inspiring stuff on the internet.” 💖
  • Some people at HackCon EU who mentioned that they read my blog frequently and like my writing style 😊
  • People at University who I’ve been interacting with online mostly (because of placement year) telling me that they read my blog and subscribe to the emails! 😱
  • The talk invitation from university to a conference; giving me a chance to present my favourite hobby to attendees.
  • A shoutout from a University nomination!

September in photos

Left to right: Hamdah, Wagamamas, Gym w/ Cherry, Being super extra, Chynna 💖, Appt, Matt 😊, Autumn leaf, Edale trip


Monthly favourites

Make-up:
Hamdah and I went to Leeds this month, just to buy Fenty Beauty foundation by Rihanna. My face now matches the rest of my body!

Music:
HAIM’s whole album is 🔥 but my favourite has to be this one:

Watch the video here too!

Instagram-fire-apps:

  • Snapseed – another photo editor but I primarily use this for discolouration in some pictures! Especially white photos.
  • Kirakira+ – Hamdah showed me this, it’s just an app that adds sparkles everywhere. Is there any point? YES. YOU CAN BE EXTRA AND SPARKLY OK?

Next month

Goals

  • Stay on top of University work!
  • Always prioritise your health, take a break if you need it, don’t overdo it. 💖

Events


Quote of the month

I saw this on Instagram and immediately resonated with me. It reminded me of this hater question left on #AskPawDah.

I have a blog post coming up on the subject of comparing yourself to others online and jealousy; it was a common topic that cropped up recently. Keep an eye out! But overall, please remember:

“Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own.”

… it’s not just beauty of course, but success and achievements. Live your life, focus on yourself, you should only be competing with that pretty lil’ reflection. 💕


Posted under: Month, For Me


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13 comments

  1. Thee one and only Venice Remmus says:

    me reading this whole blog post like i didnt know all of this already: OMG RLLY OH YEAHH U GO GIRL YASSSSSSSS

  2. enyiiee says:

    Helloooo Pauline!

    Another great post! Looks like you spent your September productively and achieved heaps. I’m sorry to hear about the anxiety – it sucks!! I’m glad that you are finding ways to overcome it, and remember that there is no need to hurry and taking breaks is important too.

    Being a student and in lectures does not mean you are not doing something meaningful and aren’t making a difference – your education is an investment. Omigosh! I hope you make the most of your final 9 months, but I know it doesn’t really need saying, because you are going to SLAY IT anyways.

    P.s. it was amaze meeting you this month <3

  3. Claudine says:

    Great blog post again, Pauline! I really like reading about your monthly reflections because your monthly posts show how hard you’ve worked towards self-enrichment 😀

    Sorry to hear that anxiety has made a comeback, but it’s awesome that you have supportive people around you helping you overcome it! I totally agree that it’s okay to take a break sometimes – we’re all guilty of overworking ourselves or worrying about silly things. Taking a step back to recover and reflect really helps!

    Yay finally, a dissertation title! 🙂 Congratulations! Coming up with a title or topic is one of the hardest parts, so now that you got that down, you’ll be able to write so much more! Now I’ve got to work on mine too, lol! Good luck to us! XD

  4. Eena says:

    Ah, love this! September seemed really busy for you, especially with school starting up again. I hope October is as great of a month as September was!

    Also, I’m digging HAIM’s new album as well. Really enjoyed their first album so I was ecstatic when I saw they had released new content. 😀

    P.S. MATTLINE FOR LIFE

  5. Cat says:

    September has been a busy month for you! Congrats on completing the two tech placements and on your new part-time job! I also love that you’re continuing to meet up with bloggers. It’s always nice to see online relationships becoming in person ones!

    Sorry to hear about the panic attacks though, but I’m glad to see that you’re moving forward from it and figuring out what works for you. It’s totally ok to take a break from things, and it makes sense that other things have to be prioritized above them! Sometimes you just have to take things one at a time 🙂 And yay for overcoming imposter syndrome! That one can be a hard one to do.

    Good luck on all of your university work!

  6. Adrianne says:

    You’ve accomplished a lot this entire month. October already? Time flies for sure, especially during the BER months. 😉

    I’m curious about your dissertation. I’ve actually gotten a lot more interested in cancer because of the parents (you already know lol). I’m a bit nervous myself thinking that this disease may also be hereditary, and if both my parents were diagnosed (mom back in early 2010s but on remission now, dad from last year but he’s getting his strength back), it wouldn’t surprise me that I or any of my three younger siblings would be diagnosed in the future too. But, technology has been rapidly advancing, especially with health scientists, and I have high hopes. ☺

    Ah, impostor syndrome. I still have it, unfortunately, but more of getting back in the industry since I was laid off from my last tech job some 6-7 years ago. With so many of these internal issues going on in the tech industry at home, that’s where it started. I know I am highly qualified, I still have trouble putting them on paper or put them orally on words in terms of networking and interviews. One of the things I enjoy reading your entries is because you share things (hackatons, etc.) and experiences coming from a person who considers herself shy. So, thank you for this.

    And your quote of the day and reading that rather surprising question for your Q&A. All I can say is LOL. That question to me equates to this question of “Why was social media invented?” The answer to that is rooted here in my home turf LOL. But after reading your tweet, especially the latter part, I think I’ve met or come across someone with those words before, but that was in the past and I forget her name, so let’s just leave at that. 😋

    Talk to you later!

  7. Ongaku says:

    Wow, you look so fit! (not jealous at all haha) XD
    Yikes, anxiety attacks are awful. That sucks that you go through them. I haven’t had them very much but my poor sister suffers with it pretty bad.
    Thanks for the music choice, I’m really enjoying listening to it. ♥

  8. I loved all of the positivity at the end of this post! Even though you had issues with your anxiety, it sounds like you worked through it and are still kicking ass and taking names! SO exciting to be finishing up school in the coming months. It’s a lot of pressure and work (you know this haha), but you’re going to be AMAZING! Get it girl!

    Susie | http://milehighdreamers.com

  9. Elise says:

    what do you mean by “i’m a student again?” did you take university leave? just curious.

    i am definitely not as motivational as you but i realize that when my anxiety starts acting up, that’s how i handle the situation too. most of the time i just let the panic attack happens instead of trying to suppress it down (because it gets harder when you suppress those things so i just let myself cry to numbness if that’s what gonna happen) but then after that i tell myself to ‘get a grip’ and start using my logic. okay, nevermind. maybe i’m not handling it as cooly as you do but i try to virtually punch myself and tell myself to get a grip is all i’m saying haha

    omg you tried fenty beauty! how was it? the fact that it has 40 shades is still amazing to me. i do want to try it someday 😀

    o sh*t, that hateful question. what is it with people though? if you don’t share enough, they complain and say “it’s your job because you’re a blogger/influencer/youtuber/etc etc” but when you do, they call you out and say bitter things like “why you such a showoff” it’s sad, really. person said it’s not about jealousy but i think we all know that it does reek of jealousy. yikes, kudos to you for ignoring that and continue to do what you do though! \m/

    and yes, you go girlie! keep on inspiring people and spread your really infectious smile 8D i love your voice too so that’s a plus lol

  10. Sakura says:

    Wow September sounds exciting for you! Have a great October ahead!

  11. Michelle says:

    OMG! You always do a lot in the months but I am glad 😀 You certainly accomplish a lot and that is good!

  12. Amy says:

    Glad to see you’ve been doing so many amazing things again, Pauline! It’s great to see you achieving so much and doing generally great things. It makes me so happy to see you getting such lovely comments about how amazing you’re being, also!

    Hope you manage to find some time to relax in your final year of university. You don’t need to do everything all the time and it’s important to take some time for you. You’re in your early twenties and you’ve already achieved so much, so it’s not like you’ll ever fall behind!

    Sorry to hear about the anxiety. It’s never good, but at least you’re facing it with a positive attitude. Hope it improves soon.