I’ve not failed. I’ve just found ways that won’t work.

Apologies for the lack of posts recently, it has just been over a month since my last one but, I have an excuse which all student bloggers will all feel me on: it’s exam session. How am I? Still alive but I’m barely breathing.

I finish my second year of university 4 weeks – a part of me hopes that time will fly past but the other part makes me want it to go as slow as possible so I have time to study more minus the academic breakdowns.

So a lot has happened since my last post, if you’ve been keeping up with me on my other social media accounts, you’ll probably know about all this already but in summary:

Crossing old bridges

Over Easter, I re-connected with one of my closest friends from secondary school, we went on a little trip to Birmingham, ate Japanese food and took cute selfies. The following day after this, I got to meet up with my old group of friends also from school and caught up over Asian food yet again. It was a lovely catch up – everyone was still the same but so many things changed about them too!

A little party never hurt anybody

I attended my annual course Ball for the second year running. It was a fun as usual, I even won  a Grammy an award (or two!) Although the food was dry and not worth the money, I think having a night once a year where I can dress up was worth it – I mean, I don’t usually get to be a real life Disney princess every night.

Interview success and downfalls

Aside from the academic side of the university, I am pleased to announce that after successful interviews, I am now a Code First: Girls and International Science Ambassador at my university. I’m excited to have such a leading role as well as a face of both fields that I am truly very passionate of, I will definitely be posting more on my experiences of these roles in future but for now GO SCIENCE, TECH AND WOMEN! WOO!

But… it’s not all rainbows and sunshine I’m afraid. Early March/April, I applied for an industrial placement in Oxford which I felt was a future role I could vividly see myself in as well as in the industry I am passionate about. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it.

BUT being my optimistic self, I always try to turn any disappointments into positive experiences, lessons and achievements:

I didn’t get it but …

• I overcame my aggressive anxiety: I went to Oxford for an interview, alone. I know this might not be a big deal to most people but having to fight that initial anxiety on the interview itself as well as travelling alone for the first time was incredibly difficult for me.Despite this, I got the courage to step on that packed train, nearly sat on someone’s laptop when I lost my balance walking to my seat and embarrassingly asked the guy next to me if he could wake me up at my stop. This was a mini-victory for me!
• I got to see my weaknesses and strengths in a real life graduate-world setting: the experience gave me a chance to reflect on what I am great at which I’m thrilled about seeing as it was always labelled as my weakness before which means I improved!More importantly, it gave me a chance to highlight what my weaknesses are now in terms of applying in this field and I’ve made it a challenge to work on it until it becomes another thing to add to my list of strengths.
• I had the opportunity to meet amazing people: I left the building feeling inspired, motivated and refreshed by the incredibly passionate people working in the industry with their feedback and comments that encouraged me to go for what I love!
• I didn’t fail, I succeeded: It wasn’t actually a student placement at all but a graduate one and I managed to beat the graduate competition all the way to the interview stage. An achievement in my book and a reminder that I succeeded in more ways than another.

Admittedly, it was very tough for me at first not to dwell on the disappointment but with my wonderful family and friends by my side reminding me that a single failure doesn’t mean I’m destined to fail for life – I picked myself up quickly and felt much more motivated and driven than ever to work towards my goal.

Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

So for the other students like me who are trying to make it through this hard exam season, just remember that they’re grades on a piece of paper; don’t let a single test define your intelligence, abilities and future prospects!

Good luck to those who have exams! I’ll see you guys on the other side where there are vibrant green grass, flowers and rainbows (hurry up June 7th!)